


Vanilla Twilight

by sunny_snake



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Crying, Fluff and Angst, Gay, I don't feel like it, I know nobody fucking knows that song but the song doesn't matter to the story, I'm Sorry, I'm not adding a lot of tags bc, M/M, Pls read I need attention, Stagedorks is mentioned, Uh owl city, Vanilla, pretty short, twilight - Freeform, why is nobody noticing this i
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 05:11:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13710537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunny_snake/pseuds/sunny_snake
Summary: "And I'll forget the world that I knewbut I swear I won't forget youoh, if my voice could reach back through the pastI'd whisper in your ear,'oh, darling, I wish you were here.'"





	Vanilla Twilight

Despite Jake having taken the second half of the work day off, the morning seemed to drag on just as long.

Jake checked the time on his computer.

_9:30_

Only two more hours until he could get off and see Rich. He could make it through this.

It had been too long since he'd last seen Rich last. Two? Three weeks? It was easy to lose track of time when every day was the same.

Of course Rich was still a priority in his life. He always would be. But life just got in the way, and things had been particularly busy lately.

But today Jake had made the point to set aside special time just for Rich, and he was going to make the most of it.

When 12:30 finally rolled around, he clocked out as soon as quick as he could and rushed home to gather the few things he needed to bring before finally he was on his way.

*******

"Hey Rich."

Jake sat cross legged in the soft grass with a few bags and an old guitar case scattered around him.

"Sorry it's been so long." His gaze caught a bouquet of yellow and pink carnations laid at the base of the cold, gray stone across from him. "Looks like Brooke and Chloe came by. They miss you."

"We all do."

He smiled sadly, watching the afternoon breeze pick up a few stray leaves.

"Jenna finally got promoted to that journalist position she's always wanted last week. Isn't that great, Rich?"

"Jeremy still hasn't gotten the balls to propose to Christine yet. I'm sure that doesn't surprise you. He's had that ring for what, four months now? I keep telling him he better hurry his ass up before she beats him to it," Jake laughed softly. "And she would. We all know she would."

Jake paused for a moment, repositioning himself on the ground.

"Remember our wedding, Rich?" He smiled as he thought back on the day.

"I remember it like it was yesterday. We were both such a mess. I couldn't stop crying for more than five seconds and you kept stumbling over your vows because you were s-so excited." Jake's voice wavered as a single tear finally fell onto his cheek.

"That was the happiest day of my life, you know. I don't care if it's cliche and that's what everyone says about their wedding day, it's true." He smiled sadly, wiping another tear with his thumb. "I mean, what could top the day I got to call you my husband for the first time?"

"God, Rich, it's been hard. I miss you so fucking much." The tears were flowing freely now, staining the light blue shirt he was wearing as they fell. "Yo-you made me promise to move on, to find happiness with someone else when you were gone and I'm trying but it's just so _hard._ "

Jake sat up and pulled his knees to his chest, just letting the sobs rack his body for a few minutes. He'd promised himself that he woudlnt do this, he wouldn't be someone who would just go to the cemetery to cry. Jake wanted his visits to Rich to be happy times, times to remember their life together and to feel close to him again, at least as close as he could now.

He lifted his head to look back up at the gravestone with a small, broken smile. "Jenna made me set up a profile on some dating site. There's actually a lot less creeps than you'd imagine, they've all seemed like nice, genuine people. I've even met up for dates with a few of them, but we never quite seem to hit it off." Jake sighed slightly. "It's my fault, I know it is. It's not their fault they're not you."

His voice softened, barely even audible to Jake himself. "We were gonna have kids, Rich, remember? We were just starting to look into adoption before you got sick."

Jake went quiet for another couple minutes. The sun peaked out from the clouds, casting shadows from the trees above.

He reached behind him and pulled the guitar case onto his lap. "This is new, right?" He chuckled softly. "My therapist wanted me to find a new hobby. Thought it would give me some sense of purpose again or at least a distraction. I guess Michael's had this thing forever and he never plays and doesn't mind me keeping it." Jake unzipped the case and carefully pulled out an acoustic guitar before setting the case behind him.

"I don't really know anything yet, I just wanted to show you." He plucked at the strings experimentally before strumming it for a few minutes.

"Yeah, I'm pretty horrible." Jake chuckled. "If you can hear me right now you probably wish you couldn't. I've been practicing though, maybe next time I'm here I'll be able to play you something." He zipped the guitar back up and laid down next to the grave.

As the day wore on, Jake stayed in his spot, talking to Rich about anything and everything, from their high school days to the short yet perfect life they shared to prospects of the future.

*******

Jake woke with a start to find himself in the same spot he'd laid down. He didn't even remember falling asleep. The sun was dipping below the trees, casting long shadows everywhere as the sunset tinted the landscape a soft orange.

How long had he been out?

He pulled out his phone to check the time.

_7:19_

He wondered briefly what people thought when they walked past him passed out in the middle of a cemetery. It wasn't necessarily a busy spot to hang out but there had to have been at least a few families and people there to visit their own loved ones that had seen him.

Not that it really mattered. That sort if thing starts to matter less after you lose the most important person in your life.

"Hey Rich," Jake spoke again as he sat up and brushed himself off. "Sorry for passing out on you like that."

He sat in silence for a few more minutes, unsure of what to say for once.

"I should probably get out of here before it gets too dark." He started gathering his stuff before suddenly pulling a backpack onto his lap.

"Oh, I almost forgot," he unzipped the backpack and started fishing around until he pulled out a wad of red fabric. "Remember this?"

He laid the old jacket out in front of him. "It's the one I wore almost all the time in high school, but I think you loved it even more than I did. By the end of senior year it was practically yours." Jake paused, biting back the tears threatening to well up in his eyes again. "It was too big for you, but that's what made it so damn cute. You practically drowned in the thing."

He stood up and slowly draped the jacket around the tombstone. "Goodnight, baby. We'll see each other again someday."  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you suffered-
> 
> I mean 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed uwu feel free to comment I live for praise


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